Not in Spain, but I can drink wine too!

My dear friend is in Spain, waking to fresh bread and coffee, ending the day with Tempranillo and Cava. Jealous much? Uh huh. But, instead of wallowing in it, I have decided to go to San Francisco to visit a friend in a couple weeks, take a day trip to Napa and Sonoma and get my own wine on.

I started my interest in wine when I was in college, but by interest I mean gallon glass bottles of Carlo Rossi with friends on weeknights or Yellow Tail drunk heavily during a Sex in the City marathon with my girls, half laughing, half crying. It fit the budget.

Of course, I knew what good wine tasted like. I have two older sisters and our family gatherings always had several bottles of carefully picked vino, paired to perfection with the delectable entrees that were planned out nights in advance. Our family loves to eat and drink, the only things we splurge on, even though most of us are constantly broke.

After college, I moved to New York, where I found my fair share of wine bars, wine shops, wine enthusiasts, and I quickly became one myself. I started shopping at a little place called Wine Therapy on Elizabeth Street. They had terrific $20 wines. I always accepted their recommendations, especially when asked first what I was having for dinner. They logged my name in the computer so they could track all my purchases, which was helpful when I couldn't remember name of the white wine, you know, the one with strong grapefruit, but not too sweet.

For my Spanish wine cravings, I frequented a tapas restaurant in the East Village called Xunta. Lucky for me, they also had amazing tapas, bacon wrapped dates (or, devils on horseback) being the most memorable, and futbol on TV.

And then....

We moved to Portland. The Willamette Valley. Pinot Country! And my love affair began. My knowledge of Oregon wines is mediocre, at best. I can't afford enough, or drink fast enough to know them all. New varietals come out so quickly, as well as new labels popping up all over. But that doesn't stop me from trying. I became a guild member at the small, but amazing Willamette Valley Vineyards and get specials shipped to me. I try everything recommended to me by friends. I started a wine diary, but forget to keep up with it. I am not hardcore. Maybe I just like to drink it.

So, we have this trip planned. Napa and Sonoma. Just a day trip. Maybe Napa or Sonoma. How many wineries can one really hit in one day? And in that case, we must make some very important decisions. Get out the wine magazines. Where should we go? Suggestions?

This Makes Me Feel Better

"Dull women have immaculate houses"

Let's hear it for B. Roy!

Thanks to Brandon Roy, the Blazers came through for us last night! Not to keep credit from the rest of the team, but damn! that boy was on fire. And that's just what we needed to pull a V over The Rockets.

Someone needs to step on that Brooks fella if we plan to win in Houston on Friday. He's like a mosquito who can shoot 3's from half court. WTF?

Go Blazers!

And here's to friends and sunshine

It's amazing what an evening of friend's advice, Cava bubbly, and chocolate creme puffs can do for the depressed spirit. And not to mention two warm and sunny days in a row.

I highly recommend it.

Thanks ladies and vitamin D!

Thank God for Older Sisters

By the title of my blog, you can probably imagine that I am not all smiles. I'm in my mid-late 20's, which most people tell me is the prime of my life. Live it up. Be happy.

I think the 30's are the new black. The 20's are just slowly dragging you there. Kind of like what high school was to college. Hell, then the release from hell. Okay, my 20's are not hell. But sometimes they feel like that.

I'm trapped. By debt. By my insecurities. Confused. Second-guessing every decision I made over the last ten years, and every one I make now. Afraid of the future, my addictions to coffee, wine, rich foods, my lack of exercise. Annoyed by my creatively depleted job. My distant relationships with old friends. I cry instead of talk about it. Didn't I used to be this joyful, upbeat, ambitious, creative youth? What is happening?

I don't feel like this every day. And rarely when the sun is out. But yesterday, it was boiling at the surface and my sister kindly gave me the long Google Chat hug that I needed. I am printing the chat here (with a few omissions) just in case anyone else ever feels like this and needs some sound advice.

Alannah: I saw the other day that you mentioned loving Morning Becomes Eclectic...is that not the BEST way to manage menial work in front of a computer?

me: yeah, i'm glad you reminded me about that. it is so nice to listen to new music. i went to see jr. boys the other night too, and it was really fun. they are so great
although no one will effing dance. it's so annoying. i wrote a blog entry about it. haha

Alannah: ummm...where are you blogging, miss? and why don't' I know about Jr Boys?

me: hehe. well, i just started up again on blogger. i wanted to get a few entries up before telling anyone about it. and jr. boys....i'll send you some stuff

Alannah: sheesh...so many people I know have a secret blog. What's the point??? J/K

me: hah, i know....http://all-lifecrisis.blogspot.com/

Alannah: all-life crisis! I love it!!!

me: i've been feeling that way lately

Alannah: you're prob. going through quarter life mess, the lead-up to your Return of Saturn. Ugh.

me: yeah, but i've always felt that way. and the more i talk to others older than me, it's all the same. how can you ever get used to it?

Alannah: the time in your life when you're questioning everything...."should I have done this? why didn't I major in that? Is this where I REALLY planned on being at this age? Look at everyone else my age doing all this amazing stuff...THAT SHOULD BE ME"

me: and you eventually stop doing that?

Alannah: yes. Well...most of the time...no...YES, you do stop. You kind of ease into this "we all have our own paths, some peak earlier than others, I'm finding my own way, I am still special and full of awesome potential" sort of zen attitude about it. you have to ease into it or you go insane or spiral into nasty full on depression

me: yeah, i suppose you're right

Alannah: just keep in mind Oscar Wilde's famous saying "youth is wasted on the young" so make sure to do lots of fun things you won't be able to do later when you're tied to a mortgage, kids, etc. It sounds like you do that anyway....but make sure you're APPRECIATING it

me: yeah, i guess i just feel like i don't do that. like i'm already old and tied down, but i'm not

Alannah: YOU'RE SO NOT! um, trust me

me: man, house, cat, real job, etc

Alannah: I'm thinking about your bike trips, concerts, make your own plans when you want sort of things

me: yeah, you're right. i need someone constantly reminding me of that

Alannah: are things getting stale [with boyfriend]? That's the one thing in hindsight I'm really glad I did...stayed single....although when I was in my mid to late 20s I CRAVED the stability of a relationship....I'm so glad I focused on myself and my relationship w/ [my daughter] instead. That was time very well spent.

me: yeah, i think that was wise for you to do too. things aren't stale, they're just normal, you know? i am terribly afraid of being normal. i guess i need to get over that

Alannah: well shake it UP, sister! you're far from normal, too

me: thanks :)

Alannah: I am serious - real, intimate, long term relationships are NOT the norm! I keep hearing about people splitting up...people i'd thought would be together forever...it is so disheartening.
No one wants to do the hard thing....or they think the payoff of a lasting relationship isn't worth the work...or the thrill of something new overpowers them.

me: so, what's the answer? do the work and stay committed or shake it up and stay invigorated?

Alannah: oh...I meant shake it up w/in the confines of your relationship

me: i know i know, but these folks are splitting up because they're bored i think

Alannah: do something different w/ the person you love. sometimes I think it's the ROUTINE that gets us down more than anything

me: true true

Alannah: I also believe people are afraid of therapy. they're afraid of changing....but not change. Does that make sense? they think that a new situation will be the CHANGE they need...instead of realizing THEY are the ones who must do some changing

me: you're absolutely right. i just don't know what i need. or want, really. i had a long conversation with mom the other day and i think i probably made her worried about me. i was down and confused and she heard all of it

Alannah: that restless feeling is the worst...but it IS indicative of your age, unfortunately. :(

me: actually, that's good news. i was beginning to feel like it was just me. or that it would never go away. at least there's hope!

Alannah: Starting a blog is a good idea. you and I are writers and we figure things out during the process of writing...so I bet you'll find that if you write about yourself and what's going on regularly you'll start to understand what you need and what you feel

me: yeah, i think so too. i was feeling strange without writing. it's a nice outlet

Alannah: it's tough because it happens slowly and we want to figure things out NOW! and be better NOW! And get all the answers NOW! well...keep [your blog] secret for a while longer. No one needs to read it if you don't want them to. If you're worried about judgment, that's prob. a good idea

me: no, i'm not worried about that. i think it's something we all can go through together, and give advice and understand each other more. it's nice to know you're not alone

Alannah: I should send you some of my journal writings from when I was your age. I was a fucking mess! You're 26 now, right?

me: yeppers

Alannah: I was teaching at [school X]...sort of liking it, but sort of bumbling along. I never knew if I was doing the right thing and I craved guidance but didn't know how to ask for it because I was too..proud? stupid? clueless?

me: sigh.....yes, I guess I just feel more confused than proud, but i'm sure that's hidden in there somewhere too...anyway, enough about me. thank you for talking me through it. i really appreciate it. I think sometimes we are afraid to talk about it with people because we assume they do not care and would rather not hear about the complaining.

...................................................................................

This morning I asked her if I could use this.

me: hi, i was wondering if you minded if i post part of our chat on my blog? i will take out your name and anything personal. it was really good for me to talk and i liked your advice a lot. i could send it to you first if you'd like

Alannah: Quoting Bill Withers "Keep on using me.....until you use me up!"

me: hahahahhahhah

Alannah: so no, I don't mind at all...you can even keep my name in. I don't care.

What would i do without her?

songs you should be listening to:

M.I.A. - Paper Planes

Hercules & Love Affair - Blind

Junior Boys - In the Morning

Yeah Yeah Yeahs - Zero

Chairlift - Bruises

The Knife - Heartbeats

suggestions?

Junior Boys, Portland v NYC, and Dancing

Any person who works the day job will tell you that they just don't get out as much as they used to. It is hard to fit it in, and harder to stay up past ten. I have to be at work by 7:30 every morning, which means getting up by 6:00. If I'm out until midnight, that leaves very little sleep, and a lot of coffee drinking in the morning to make up for it. Which leaves me jittery, nervous, anxious, and tired as all hell by the end of the day.
That said, I choose the nights to do this very carefully. Last night was one of those moments. I have been dying to see the Junior Boys. Their music is so lifting, electric, head nodding, and occasionally ass shaking (although we'll get to that later). They were playing at the Doug Fir, with an opening band I was not crazy about, so we showed up late. We had a VIP pass, good for two free tickets, but it turns out the pass was from 2008 and was not accepted. We bought two tickets off someone outside the venue, although they were still selling tickets at the door!
This gets me to my first point. In Portland, music shows rarely sell out. It's nuts. In New York, we would never be able to walk up to the door and buy tickets. We would have to plan months in advance. Clearly, it's a numbers thing. But it's also because Portland is between San Francisco and Seattle and bands come through during the week. Portland is a quiet, sleepy city. A city that goes to bed earlier than any city I've ever lived in. People are not rowdy.
This gets me to my second point. When you go to a show that rocks, and you are stoked to see them, and they are playing music with beats so groovy you imagine yourself doing flips through the air, WHY THE FUCK WOULDN'T YOU DANCE? The show starts off with a bang, but people are doing what my friend calls "The White Dance," a forward movement of the head and shoulders so slight that you might miss it if you looked down. But upon looking down, you might see their knees slightly bending, or perhaps, a tap of the foot. Mostly, the arms are crossed at the chest, eyes straight ahead on the band, the spotlights shining on those stark, white faces. It's as if they forgot what they were hearing, or forgot how to move. After several songs, a few people wake up and add in an arm twist, or a pelvis thrust. And clapping. Lots of clapping. What kind of fans would we be without being a part of the percussion section?
So, we have the the white dancers. They are the majority. And then, over in the corner, we have the hippy dancers. This doesn't really need any explanation, as most of us have experience dancing next to a hippy dancer. Most of the time, it was because we were at a show where there was some sort of hippy music. But, folks, this was an electro-pop show, so in your mind, just speed up those wavy arms a few beats.
White dancers, hippy dancers, and where would we be without the one or two acid dancers? These dancers are the nemesis of the white dancers. The white dancers want to stay in their one foot area bubble and never be touched, whereas the acid dancers forget anyone else is in the room with them. Arms and legs stretched out in every single direction, spinning in circles and shaking their fists, they continue dancing whether the band is between songs or has stopped playing all together and the house music comes on afterwards.
At least they know how to have a good time and appreciate the beats, rather than being afraid to move an arm or leg for fear of looking out of place. But, why can't people just dance and have a good time. This band demands to be danced to.